The COACHING FOR CHANGES

At this point it should be clear that:

• There are many reasons to do things the way we do and there are as many “truths” we can tell ourselves or others about it.
• One major “truth” is that to be happy with ourselves and others, without losing our balance, demands a lifelong effort in handling fairly on both sides.
• Disharmony between our resources (= what we can do well and easily) and our acts (what we choose to do even if it is neither good nor easy for us) leads us to inner conflicts.
• Conflicts produce physical stress and emotional distress for us and others and, ultimately, they generate a spiral of negativity that can go from a mild cold up to a cancer.
• We can break this spiral by learning to change consciously and in accordance with our nature.
• The indisputable “truth” is: nobody else knows us as well as we do and surely nobody else can do as much good for us than ourselves.

In order to “learn” how to live well with ourselves through changes, we have 3 steps to make:

• to understand changes and put them in the right perspective for us
• to accept them consciously and fully (for the part concerning us)
• to handle them till their good end for us.

On the way to this learning, among others, we have to face 3 challenges:

• Irritation, due to differences of character, opinions, perspectives, values, beliefs, habits, etc.
• Fears, due to new (in the personal life, at work, at school, etc.)
• Going through (=live) this learning by remaining truthful to ourselves.

On top of this, when a diversity-factor is there:

• Irritation could be deeper because we may be swamped at once by too many elements whose effects on us we can not quickly estimate
• Fears could be bigger because we may at first feel we lose control over our “normal” reactions (= our known little world), or we don’t know how our messages will be perceived (= will we be understood and “accepted”? or will we be misunderstood and “refused”?), if we can make it or not (= will this be a success, like a good note at school? or a failure, so another bad note?), etc.
• First natural responses, if we aware of them or not, will lead us to look for some “common ground” and we may feel “in danger” until we have found it. Other said, and like for any source of fear, we may have all sorts of reactions and they will be proportional to the importance of what is at stake for us (values, beliefs, etc. that mostly run subconsciously)
• When our inner alarm system stops, we are usually able to make room for this “multiple-new”. It is also the moment where we start to see the positive potential of diversity and can integrate it into our life-scheme.